Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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