In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
