It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
