pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
