Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize
