my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
