This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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