Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
