when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
