So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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