just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
is it fun? or sober?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
