Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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