Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
