Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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