Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
