i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize