he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
