So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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