At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
