i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
