It's Friday. Sex?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
