Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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