ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You ruined the universe
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
