NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
