I wish they made helmets for livers.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
