farters have to be the big spoon...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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