Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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