all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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