Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
