God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize