I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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