Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
