Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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