Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
