Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
