i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
