Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it's great music for shaving your balls
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
