I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
