walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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