we're blogging at a bar
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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