its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize