well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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