I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
