So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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