dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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