Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize