I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
