I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
