He disabled his match.com account in front of me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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