he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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