I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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