im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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