So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
