I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
