The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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