i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
