Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
