oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
