And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
