im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
