he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
