I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
