the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
